Hey guys, thanks for making this Jamie! So I just had 2 weeks off and I wrote the music and lyrics for this song over that time. If you guys have any feedback it would be much appreciated.
P.s I’m changing each time i say breathS to just breath. Rolls off the tounge alittle easier
I haven’t been able to listen closely, but I really like the feel of it. And you made good use of the coffee as a sedative line!
The coffee is a sedative was the whole reason for it! The line was to good to let slip
Knowing the subject of the song, it’s great. It has that sweet contemplation feel to the lyrics. There were a few places that I thought maybe you could link images in a different way to reveal more. For instance “teardrops stain the coffee” is a good line, but what if the tears are kind of sweet, like sugar. Then tears sweeten the coffee, or maybe the tears smooth the coffee, like a creamer. That way, the coffee image is a little more locked on. But, you don’t really need to change it, just a thought.
Yes! Thats actually the one line of the song I myself have thought there could be an alternative, I’ll try a few different things out but that a great suggestion!
Beautiful- wow i’m insanely jealous of your guitar skills- your voice has a really nice tone too- sounds like you could benefit from engaging your diaphragm to have a little more control. It feels like a melancholy sort of lullaby, very soothing.