Today we will be crafting metaphors, this time for a teacher, and as with yesterday we will keep the stabilisers on and be provided with the linking word.
Target Domain: Teacher
Linking Quality: Inspires
Source Domain: ___
So as a recap, we are practising sensory-based descriptive writing based on a metaphor for a teacher that we will come up with by thinking of something else that also inspires. These exercises are creatively demanding, so great work so far and good luck today!
Teacher - Inspires - Old Gospel Songs
Teacher, rock of ages, cleft for us, let us take some honey from your rock. You take the complex and eternal and break it down into memorable and understandable nuggets of grace. You bring peace to the valley of our future. By and by, when the morning comes, youâll be there encouraging us to embrace the happy day, to lie down in green pastures, until our eyes have seen the glory of the coming of knowledge. You remind me that just as I am is special enough, and that we all have gifts we must use to guarantee that the circle will be unbroken. The church has one foundation, and itâs your giving of yourself to inspire us. Your words are like precious memories, unseen angels sent from somewhere to my soul. One day, I will exchange this old rugged cross for a crown, and it will be thanks to you. Note by note, you give us what is expected, but not boring. The first, third, and fifth, we all know where to go when we sing with you, but you make it special will your amazing grace. You give us water when it is not in well, cleansing, enlightening, and loving. Sight, hearing, feeling, taste and smell, are gifts we highly prize, but above it all is the unconditional guidance and motivation you provide. Your inspiration is a beautiful home of pure delight for all who learn from you.
I might have cheated here, I used a lot of lines and titles from traditional gospel tunes, but I thought that kind of played on the auditory sense (if you know them).
Teacher-Inspires-Tree
The teacher looked down at the class, the weathered bark of their face crinkled into a smile. They stood planted next to their whiteboard, like a portal into an endless world of learning. Their stance was wide a welcoming, branched arms slightly bent and outstretched in an embrace for their students. Though merely a human, under their looming presence, the students sat shaded and leaned into their elderâs years of wisdom like a comfortable seat on a scorching summerâs day.
I like how many different gospel images you were able to touch on! I think maybe you could have incorporated the sound of gospel music as a metaphor for the teacher, talking about how their pieces of wisdom fit together in a perfect harmony or symphony to reach into the minds of their students. Gospel music is joyous, uplifting, upbeat, energetic, I think there are some ways that could have been displayed in the writing. That was a difficult choice though and I like your unique train of thought!!
Wow! weathered bark of their face crinkled into a smile is awesome. Also the teacher being âplantedâ next to the word board! well written
@4StarViewMusic I got a bit lost in the first bit with all the song names, I must admit Iâve never dived into gospel all that much but its on my list of things to listen to! But I do like the linking of unconditional guidance and motivation, humanises songs into a teacher form thats for sure
Teacher - Inspires - Street art
The teacher is no stranger to misfits, hooligans. A blank slate, ready to be the guiding light of altered frustrations. Diving deep through the white noise of trauma to whats left of the heart to help the student find the key to vivid imagination. Rage smashed against the empty alleyways, projecting colours of an artist lost. Scents of coffee shops and old beer runs under foot, heightening the senses enough to keep ears pricked at the sound of intruding eyes.
Tough one! I am certainly better at my usual 4am, as opposed to current 9pm haha.
I agree, that weathered bark and crinkled smile is such a strong opener! The branched arms ready for a caring hug is also really interesting because it is visual and gives us that internal comforting feeling. This is really good as far as the visual and internal, the tactile sense with the shade on a summer day is really neat also. Great job!
And, I agree, I tried to work in some things about Gospel songs having traditional, expected melodies, but I had a lot of missed opportunities to really dig deeper.
You said you had trouble, but this is really well done. The teacher being the blank slate is a cool inversion (most of us would see the students as the blank canvas and the teacher as the artist, so that builds some wonderful tension). That, I think, is the coolest part of yours. The way the students as artist kind of shape the teacher and make the teacher into something more. That is powerful stuff. The last sentence has some cool sensory language too, although maybe a little less connected to the street art side of things, it certainly adds to the overall image.
Teacher - Forest
Inside the classroom, students are transported into another world. It is here we are taught how to grow from the simple soil of the earth, into towering mature trees. Around us songbirds sing melodies of wonder and insight, and we taste the dripping nectar of knowledge. The wind of understanding dances through the treetops, and the teacher displays that we can stand through every raging storm without breaking. He encourages inquisitive minds, and blazing trails of new ideas. As we join hands together, we experience mycelium-like synergy to solve problems and enrich the earth.
I love how many different aspects of these metaphors you are diving down! Such creative associations that really bring the whole thing to life. You could take any of these avenues, say the dripping nectar, and expand further into the sensory based language surrounding it if you wanted to dial up the senses further - but overall this is really rich imagery that would likely not have come into existence if just told to write about a classroom - well done!
Prompt: Teacher
Linking Quality: Inspires
Source Domain: River
We do not see the snow-tipped peaks whence your knowledge flows. Nor do did we hear the patter of insight which shades your depths. We, however, know the rush of your wisdom as you sculpt the meandering banks. Twisting light teases at polished stones offered for those daring to wet their toes. Wisping willows weep in joy at your kindness as you pass. Timeâs overflow sprawls you across the lands as new minds polish jagged rocks.
âRage smashed against the empty alleyways, projecting colours of an artist lost.â I really liked that line!
I feel like there was opportunity for incorporating the colors for some visual enhancement. Maybe something like âapple red splattered the bridgeâs blackboard.â
Overall it was great at conveying the emotive experience. 
A teacher sculpting the banks of the students is great! My favorite line in the piece. The willows weeping was a nice image, but I thought it kind of detracts because willows âweepâ with a bowing that seems more mournful than hopeful or in awe. Spreading the teacher across the land is a nice way to end it. Good work!
Thanks for the feedback! The suggestion of âapple red splattered the bridges blackboardâ is fantastic and definitely would enhance the visual imagery of the piece. Also Cosmo (and anyone else reading this) I encourage all to give feedback as much as they can. I know for me it felt strange to critique others work but it helped my writing being able to dive deeper into what others are saying and ways that it could be improved, thus allowing me to do that for myself.
Yourâs is great as well! I like the line of polished stones offered for those willing to wet their toes.
Not a critique but for some reason reading yourâs I wanted to know what the water was like, as in like maybe the river was cold but refreshing pushing students towards the rivers end preparing them for the vast ocean that is life. Thatâs just the imagery in my head so it was a nice read thanks!
For sure! Iâm aiming to critique more. It feels a bit odd sometimes because Iâm a couple months late to the party but it seems like people are still active so Iâll keep adding when I can.
Thanks as well for the viewpoints!
I wouldnt worry about the timeline, even though I did do this excercise afew month ago your feedback is still valuable! And the more people who give feedback the broader the range of new discoveries because everyone sees things differently
teacher inspires heavy burden and changes learning to scarcity and harmful competition
would your younger self believe your future was now this moment? your routine contemplating lonely walk but now under the withered, gloomy nature of winter. a rush of cold, slightly paralyzing wind clashes against the skin leaving shivers. you recognize that you need more than a flannel, you need the warmth wished for since you were a kid. with every crack of branch, every clash of wind, every foggy window, every step foward: the voice of regret gets louder. all of the lost opportunities, all of the false pats on the back, all of the tarnished trophies ,old memories plays in film reel. you also recall the teachers youâve had in your life. ones that changed the meaning of life for you. ones that disapproved of your trials, scared you off , compared you and always accurately predicted your future, reminded you that it was always too difficult and you were always ten steps behind. no wonder why youre running? you splattered ink, so splattered words now define you. all of the chances you gave up because you knew you couldnt risk it. as theyâve always known better, âyoure not good for it, take the route that we wantâ. so you take the route back home.
I am failing to see the source domain here. At first, I thought it was something like âautumn vacationâ. Maybe the âaccurate predictionâ is tied into Halloween or fortune tellers or something that may be loosely tied to autumn. Sometimes, it really helps the reader to know what you chose. For instance, you can just start the writing with:
Target: Teacher, Link: Inspire, Source: Autumn
That way, we kind of understand the imagery source and how you relate it to the target. You have some nice âemotional appeal imageryâ which is important. You have some nice sensory images (âcrack of branchâ is auditory, âclash of windâ is auditory and tactile, âpats on the backâ is tactile", âtarnished trophiesâ is visual"), but those sensory images are thrown out and then lost. You could take those further. Also, it seems that the âteacherâ here is not the target, rather just one small reference.
Donât worry, all of this type of writing is tough at first. Youâll learn more and keep growing.